Sleep, my child....

I slept in this morning and awoke in a jolt, realizing I was about to be late for work if I didn't get moving.  As I reached for my phone on my bedside table, I saw that I had 9 text messages and 2 missed phone calls.  What on earth was happening?  Earthquake?  Major medical disaster?  Someone important die?

Dating.  That's what was happening.  

I had a message and a call from my bestie, who wanted to give me the details of her date last night.  I had two more messages from a good guy friend who wanted to chat about his recent dating disaster.  And I had a few messages from a couple of potential suitors.  

Hurriedly, I glanced through the messages, triaged them, and got ready to run out the door to work.  While driving, I talked to my BFF and listened as she regaled me with details of her night out with her latest crush.  The pluses, the minuses, the pros, the cons.  What he did, what he said, what he didn't do or say....what did it all mean?  Should she go out with him again or was it dead in the water?  

Why is all this so complex?!  And why is it so important that it's the first thing on our minds in the morning, and the last thing at the end of the night?  I think it's because when we wake up alone and fall asleep alone...in those small moments of loneliness and vulnerability, partnership can seem so big and important.  

But the best thing we can do is roll around in our loneliness.  Make friends with it.  Get to know the person that you are when you're alone.  Ultimately, we're all going to be alone at some point, and it's better if we can appreciate those times, rather than fear them.  

In her landmark book, Eat Pray Love, author Elizabeth Gilbert writes:

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.” 

As a footnote:

In my last post, I talked about the Rules of the Game.  I received a lot of feedback from both men and women, some of whom are in relationships and some of whom are not.  

The good news is that it appears that everyone is confused and traditional gender roles are gone with the wind.  Almost universally, people told me that they preferred it when they were asked out, regardless of gender.  So maybe dating is just a numbers game: if you take so many pitches, you're bound to get on base sooner or later....

I guess I'd rather be hitting .350 than .150 though!  Practice makes perfect, right?