Like most women, I struggle with how I look. I am constantly judging myself: sneaking glimpses in window reflections, measuring myself against women on television, and spending excess time in the bathroom examining my pores. I have a ballerina's build that has stuck with me even though I haven't danced since I was in college: a small bustline and muscular legs that NEVER fit quite right into skinny jeans. My figure is boyishly straight. I have hazel-green eyes, pale skin, and dark chocolate brown hair. I'm an all-American mutt--a true mix of western European ancestry with no distinguishing characteristics.
By contrast, my best friend is curvy in all the right places. She's about 5'6" tall, with a perfect hourglass figure and thin legs. Her American Indian heritage is beautifully captured in her long black hair, soft olive skin, and deep brown eyes. Without a doubt, she is exotic.
In spite of this, I can easily remember a dozen times in the last few months when we would trash ourselves and complain about various aspects of our bodies. We're constantly "on a diet"--a condition shared by a majority of women. One British study found that women spend 31 years of their lives on a diet, compared to 28 years for men. Each diet lasted just five and a half weeks.
While I'm not advocating we just abandon trying to get healthy, I do have to wonder if all this "dieting" is good for us--physically and emotionally?
I was watching tv this morning and it seemed like every other commercial was an advertisement for a health-related product: probiotics, weight-loss supplements, cleanses...the list goes on. While I conscientiously avoid fashion magazines to avoid feeling like I have to compare myself to waif-thin models, I feel barraged by the media and ad moguls reminding me about diets. Am I supposed to be on a diet? I wonder anxiously. Am I healthy enough? Maybe I can diet away these tree-trunk legs...
The truth is, my weight is fine. My body mass index is fine. I could tone up a little more, but the reality is that most of us fall into that category. The bottom line is that we are exposed to this culture of dieting not only because America, in general terms, has an obesity problem, but also because there's considerable money to be made from it. Did you know that Americans spend $40 million each year on diet-related products? And yet the obesity rate has been climbing steadily since the mid-1980's. On the other end of the spectrum, an estimated 8 million Americans suffer from an eating disorder, with almost 90% of them women. Treatment for eating disorders can range from $500-$2000 per day. What if we saved our dollars...and just stopped the war on our bodies and self-esteem?
And why do we try so hard to be so thin? Arguably, it's not as much for the health of our bodies as it is an attempt to find social acceptance, especially from the opposite sex. Women truly believe that men are more attracted to very thin women.
To that end, an article in Psychology Today magazine presents a compelling discussion on what men actually find attractive. According to the piece, co-written by two medical doctors who have studied why women need body fat, men actually don't find ultra-thin women more attractive. They cite the fact that the average Playboy model is 5'6" and 115 pounds, with a BMI between 18-19. While that may seem light, compare it to the average fashion model that has a BMI of 17.1, while almost half of all models have a BMI under 17--grossly underweight according to the Centers for Disease Control. If men were attracted to extremely thin women, wouldn't Playboy magazine capitalize on that?
Dove Beauty Campaign recently published a video wherein seven women described themselves to FBI sketch artist Gil Zamora. A second sketch was then compiled by the sketch artist, but this time as described by a stranger who had spent time earlier in the day with the women. The two sketches produced marked differences and underscored the point that, as Dove says, "you're more beautiful than you think." Watch the video here.
So the next time you're standing in front of the bathroom mirror practicing sucking in your stomach (c'mon, I'm not the only one who does that!)...maybe just cut yourself a small break. Just once. And then think about how much better it feels to love yourself than to hate some perceived "flaws." Because what you think might not be the way others see you. Only 4% of women in this world consider themselves beautiful. I personally KNOW that more than 4% of the people that I see are beautiful.
Including you.
feedback always welcome!
leahc168@gmail.com
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