Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Idiots

It should go without saying that you don't kiss & tell.  Especially at our age, dear reader.  (This is, of course, assuming that you're within my demographic: 30-something, bi-ped,  and with the ability to appropriately wield a razor as so to appear human.)

Evidently, some folks need to be reminded of that lesson.  Take, for example, my ex-boyfriend, "Todd."  And my friend, "Joe," who has been pursuing a date with me.  Todd and I broke up back in early January after an arduous year+ of on-again, off-again dating.  In the course of that relationship, I told him personal things--exposed my inner self, if you will....the sort of details that you tell your partner, expecting that even if the relationship ends, these things will just always remain between the two of you.  

Either that rule changed and I'm just old-school, or Todd has some serious learning to do about how you treat ex-girlfriends.

Yesterday, Todd took it upon himself to call up Joe and "have a beer."  Now, I know I'm a girl, but I also know that "having a beer" is a 21st century male bonding ritual akin to a 19th century quilting bee for ladies.  Gossip and all.

Joe agreed to meet for a beer and so they found themselves at a local establishment, talking boy talk, when Todd decides to bring up my name and then divulge those aforementioned secrets that should have been buried along with our now-deceased relationship.

• "Did you know she has an eating disorder because she was chubby in high school?"
• "Did you know that she's not friends with that one girl because they fought over a guy?"
• "Did you know she slept with so-and-so?"
• "Did you know she's a pod person?"  (okay, I made this one up)

..and so on.  To his credit (?!), Joe didn't encourage this locker room talk, but he didn't stop it either or remind Todd that talking about a girl that the other party has dated is a bad idea for everyone.  Nor was Joe interested in fact-checking the above rumors with me; rather, he was just plum-proud of himself for not saying anything nasty about me in agreement with Todd.  He just couldn't understand why I was so upset ("tweaked out" was the phrase he applied)....

Gentlemen, the rule is this: Life is not a locker room.  You do not get to go around farting, scratching, belching, or relaying stories of your conquests.

We are, after all, 30-something.