On Valentine's Day Eve...

'Tis the season of love: of hearts and sugary treats and flowers and naked winged babies named Cupid.  And like so many other holidays (Christmas, Halloween, etc), it's been worked over by the marketing magicians at Hallmark, Target, Wal-Mart, and other big-box retailers.  The aisles are lined with teddy bears, cheap chocolate, and scraggly flowers.  Ahhh...nothing says romance more than a stuffed animal that was mass produced in China by small children! 

But enough of my politics regarding overseas sweatshops.  On to more important things, like romance.

In asking my male friends what they are doing for their gals for this glorious "holiday"...I got a theme or variation of this line:

"Valentine's Day is such crap.  I'd rather do something for her some other day of the year that shows her how much I really love her, rather than spend too much on flowers just because it's Valentine's Day."

Awwww!  Isn't that sweet!?  It's so sweet that I just threw up a little in my mouth.  I keep on wanting to ask, "So, when was the last time you did that, then?" but I don't want to come off as cynical.  Or at least more cynical than I already seem.

The thing is, I'm really not a cynic!  I believe in love and fairytales and happily-ever-afters.  What Cinderella forgot to really teach us is that those happy endings take WORK.  The sun doesn't shine every single day in this magical land of roses and hearts--sometimes, it rains in the form of arguments, disagreements, and tears.  And when you get to kiss and make up....well, that's when the non-Disney-friendly fun starts!  (wink!)

In the midst of all of this--the good times and the bad, the ups and the downs, the fat days, the sick days, the fairytale dates and walks in the park under the moonlight--we get to know our partners very well.  And this, my friends, is where the real romance lies.

I can almost guarantee she doesn't want a teddy (either the bear or the lingerie).  What she wants is something *meaningful*--a memory, a shared moment, a look that conveys so much.  It can be so easy--a set of his/hers coffee mugs with a note about how much you want to wake up on Sunday and have coffee in bed while reading the paper.  Or take her for a drive back to where you two met or where you proposed and have a simple lunch and talk about that special day.  Girls want to feel connected to their partners--to know that what we value inside our hearts and the memories we have don't simply exist in the mental scrapbook we keep.  We want something that says, "I get you.  I understand you.  I know your heart."

That, dear reader, is love.