Spring Clean Your Heart

Spring has sprung!!  .....Or so I'm told, from people who have been to warmer parts of the United States.  Here in the Midwest, it's been lingering at a bone-chilling 40 degrees, although I will say that the sun is stronger and stays out longer.  Still, I'm ready for green grass and daffodils.

There are lots of reasons to love springtime, not the least of which is that glorious day of the year when you can pack up the parkas, clean the house, and throw the window open to let clean, fresh air in.  As we transition from dark winter to bright summer, we look at all aspects of our lives to ready ourselves for the new season.  Diets clean up as we get ourselves beach-body ready, calendars lighten up as we make time for gardening and lawn care, and we reconnect with neighbors not seen since before the first snowfall.

As I was cleaning out my kids' room today, I got to thinking that this ritualistic seasonal activity should apply to more than just our diets, calendars, and closets.  What about our hearts?  What are we doing to prep the field so that love can grow?

I spent my 20's living in a small town in western Wisconsin.  Every spring, I saw the farm fields that surrounded our community turn from dusty, dry brown to rich, dark black after the farmers turned the soil to prepare for planting.  The seeds, laid in neat rows for miles on end, held so much hope for the future.  The right summertime conditions of warmth, rain, and nourishment yielded a bountiful fall harvest.  If the soil was bad or the rain didn't come, the seeds were stunted or perhaps failed to sprout at all.

Like those acres and acres of Wisconsin farmland, our hearts are the fertile soil in which we must sow seeds of love.  If the space in our heart is tainted with fear, hurt, sorrow, or impatience, the seeds have no chance of growing.  They will die without ever having seen sunlight.  But if we offer our hearts a bit of peace and provide room for knowledge and growth, our seeds have a much better chance of realizing themselves.

As there were varieties of crops on those vast Wisconsin fields, there are varieties of love as well.  If we plant romantic love and have not seeds of self-love already in the ground, romantic love will surely result in failure.  Promises made to a partner are meaningless if we fail to know what lies within our souls.  Discovering the habits of our hearts are the very key to unlocking our ability to fully experience love.  If we don't know ourselves, we will never have the capacity to understand another person.

So ask yourself a few questions as you ready your heart to find love, keep love, or expand the love you already have.  Turn these thoughts over in your head, as a farmer turns his fields:

• What circumstances do I need in order to be happy?  
• In what activities do I find joy?
• What can I offer to my partner?
• Am I communicating effectively?  Does my partner know these things about me?

Answering these questions will be like pouring sunlight on your heart.

A galactic love ... a simple garden ...

Once upon a time, you ruled my universe.  You were my sun, my stars, my galaxy.  I got lost in the heat, the passion, the craziness of it all.  I was an ever-expanding star, glowing in the warmth of what I thought was love.

When you left, I felt like a supernova that had collapsed into a black hole: devoid of emotion, of feeling, of life.  Slowly, bit by bit, I have been reawakening, finding a new orbital path and a reason to shine again.

The best gift you gave me was the gift of freedom.  Freedom to find out who I am, who I want to be, and what I have to do to get there.  It's going to take time, to be sure, but I'm learning to love the journey.  And since I'm not lost in space anymore, I've found focus around something much smaller and more meaningful.

As it turns out, the best things in life require patience and love.  I'm sure many of you knew that already, but we all find our own truths in our own time, right?!  But think about it: we are patient with our children, with our gardens, with our friends and loved ones.  Why should it be any different with yourself?  If you are really going to fully develop to your true potential, it will take time and effort, and it's a labor of love. 

Creating yourself is like planting a perennial garden.  Each year, you add new plants, some that thrive in shade, some that grow best in sun.  Some plants die, and some plants just need a little TLC to make it through a drought. This year, I am planting seeds of patience and self-love, while I continue to nurse along my intellectual side and prune back the sarcasm.  Giggling with my kids has become the sunshine that all the plants need, while my running is the wind that gently rustles the dead leaves from the plants, allowing room for new growth.

We can't rush headlong into half-cooked plans, relationships, or ventures.  To do so is to put the garden at risk, as if to introduce a new plant without knowing its eventual height or growing space.  Sometimes that plant has to be ripped out, leaving a hole in the soil...but it's a hole that will be filled with the right plant for the garden--one that will complement the overall beauty without detracting from any of the individual other plants.  Synergy and balance must be sought in order to achieve peace in our gardens: children, a significant other, family, friends, and hobbies. 

Like those sunflower fields we saw in South Dakota last summer on our motorcycle trip, with their sunny seed-filled faces turned toward the sun, I am turning myself toward the warmth I need to grow.

I am not meant to stand on the sun or float among the stars; I am but just a girl. Instead, I will stand under the sun and grow.