Theory of evolution

"You have to force yourself to evolve."

--Taylor Swift

I'm not sure Taylor Swift was referring to who we are in the context of our love lives here...but then again, maybe she was!  I mean, really.  Listen to her songs and you'll know what I mean.  In fact, it's probably instructive to listen to her while you're reading this blog.  Start with "Red" off her new album. 

Anyway....I was reading an article about her song writing and BOOM!  there it was, the words practically jumping off the page at me.

I used to think that evolution occurred only after enough damage...which is really probably more like erosion.  You know: enough wind and rain can cause small rocks to fall off the face of a cliff...eventually big rocks fall...and next thing you know, a beautiful new rock formation is exposed.  Geologists swoop in and find fossils and dinosaur bones and what-have-you.  Cool stuff.  Shiny stuff.  Meaningful stuff.

I'm ridiculously optimistic.

Turns out.....erosion in people is just simple destruction.  Wind and rain from bad relationships can erode you into a shell of your former self.  What once was sparkly can become dull, and you might not even realize it for awhile.  You have to be careful to protect yourself and know when to come in out of the rain.

Evolution is far different.  In nature, evolution occurs when DNA adapts to changes in the environment.  In people, our emotions can adapt in much the same way--but we have to let it happen.  In other words, get out of your own way.

We can keep on making the same mistakes in relationships, or we can see that the environment demands us to do otherwise...and then step aside so that we can make those needed changes.

I got an email this weekend from an ex.  When I read it, I knew he wanted me to respond, even though it contained the classic "you don't have to reply to this" line.  And in the past, responding always meant that there would be an exchange, and then ultimately a meeting, and then SNAP! we'd be back together, on the same path to nowhere.  So I thought about it.  I brooded about it.  I drank a bottle of wine over it.  And in the end...

I chose evolution.