The Rules of the Game

My mama always taught me that honesty is the best policy.  Just be honest with yourself and others, and life will flow from there.  Karma can't bite you when you're simply being truthful, she told me.  There's only one small caveat:

Dating.  

Evidently, in dating, honesty is for desperate people.  It's for girls who either aren't smart enough to play the game right or else fast girls who disregard the rules.  

"But Mom," I implored, "why can't I just tell him that I like him?"
"Because you can't," she replied easily, with a tone that implied I should know better than to ask such silly questions.  "It's the way the game is played.  You have to follow The Rules."

Fifteen years later--all right, eighteen years (zip it)--I'm still trying to figure it all out.  Okay, I've been married, so I must've done something right at least once...but truth be told, I'm just plain confused.  What are The Rules?  How do I know if I'm doing this whole messy thing right??

So now.....hypothetically....just go with me here....let's just say that you're out with girl friends on a Saturday night and you meet an amazing guy.  He's tall, dark, handsome, fit, and--best of all--he's SMART.  He's perfect! you gleefully think to yourself.  You make plans for a date the next week, which goes off without a hitch.  Drinks, appetizer, great conversation, good body language--you're in heaven.  He walks you back to your car, and leans in for that perfect goodnight kiss.  Which, of course, turns into at least ten goodnight kisses.  It's all incredible and you're floating away........

Until The Moment.

"Do you want to go back to my place?" he whispers in between hot kisses, his hands in your hair and your heart all a-flutter.

What do you do?!  If you say yes, does that make you fast, slutty, or otherwise undesirable?  If you say no, does that make you prudish, boring, or otherwise similarly undesirable?  If you go with your gut, does that mean you've disregarded some Rule?  Are The Rules the same today as they were when my mom was dating?  What if you make the wrong decision and he never calls again?  I can hear my mother's voice in my head: Remember The Rules, honey.  Wait, what?!  For a second, you wonder if this incredible man can hear her, too.  

So much confusion in a nanosecond.